Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Who knew Uncle Sam was kinky?

For many of us, the last day of the year signifies a time where we reflect on the 364 diurnal periods that preceded it as well as plan for the coming year with steeled resolve to do more/less, be more/less or think more/less. For those of us in the States who work in a corporate environment, this day signifies a different form of reflection. December 31st is the very last possible day that one can make purchases that qualify as a withdrawal from their flex spending account.

The nutshell (let's break it down):
These are pockets of money you can have taken out of your paycheck every pay period before the US gubbmint gets its grubby hands on your money and siphons off taxes. This then theoretically lowers your income bracket, thus reducing the amount of total tariffs you owe the IRS come the middle of April.

The catch (come on, you knew there had to be one):
You must use these funds only for the purchase of certain healthcare-related costs, AND you must make these purchases within the calendar year of the payroll deductions. Meaning if money was taken out of my salary during 2007, i must use these funds before December 31st 2007, otherwise i forfeit this money and it goes straight into Uncle Sam's pocket.

That's right. Forfeit. Lose. Never get back.

I participate in this program through my office, and was caught off guard when i received my December statement in the mail explaining my remaining balance. I had a rather large amount of money i needed to spend before January 1st, and i had absolutely no scheduled healthcare costs. Not wanting to horde cases of sterile gauze pads and vitamins, i was stuck for what i'd do with the surplus amount. And then i found a devilish loophole.

The redeemer:
It figures the the solution to my problems could be found on the internet. It turns out that such sites as drugstore.com and walgreens.com have specific sections of their inventory cordoned off to make using your flex spending dollars as easy as possible. But what they consider eligible, i would never have expected to fit within the requirements of the IRS. All it took was a few clicks of the mouse before i was able to determine that a good amount of this money was going towards fulfilling several of my fetishes.

Of all the self-adhering elastic bandages, Nexcare is by far the best for use in a mummification scene. It does not bunch like other brands, comes in extra wide strips and really vibrant colors. I personally love using this "space-age" material when entombing someone because it is breathable, which allows for longer periods of bondage as well as total closure. Instead of needing to cut holes in the elastic like i would if it were tape or shrinkwrap, the submissive is able to draw breath through the bandage itself.

With my flex spending account, i was able to order enough for several scenes of total encapsulation.


Enemas are crucial aspects of any serious anal training, but also are enjoyable tools when used in a predicament scenario. A girl being trained anally must grow accustomed to regular enemas so that the use of her "third cunt" is safe and healthy for both involved. It's important to note that enemas are not to be administered too frequently, because the gastro-intestinal tract has natural bacteria that must exist in order for proper digestion. More than once a month should be avoided.

Enema play is it's own wonderful subject that i plan to go into later, but as i have said many times before, a girl knows her place almost immediately when she is made to think of her ass in a different way through the rudiments of anal play. Being told to hold in an enema despite urges from her stomach, her bowels and her anal rings to release is an incredible act of obedient submission.

All in all, i was able to outfit myself with a number of items that will, in addition to making the House of Deity a safer, more sanitary and less sniffly of a place, also make devilish appearances in sadistic ways that i'm sure the bigwigs who conjured our tax code in Washington would be proud of.

I wish all of you who purchase some entertainment from this site a Happy and Prosperous New Year. I look forward to seeing where it might go in 2008.

2 comments:

jayne said...

Welcome back.

Ever the master of invention. I'm so glad you have found a way to avoid adding to the government coffers.

Sounds like 2008 is going to be splendid in your domain.

Happy Slappy New Year

Deity said...

jayne,
thanks, doll.

"Sounds like 2008 is going to be splendid in your domain."

I just love the puns!