Thursday, January 31, 2008

Do-(min)ate yourself

There is not one way to fulfill the role of a dominant in a relationship, nor do i treat these pages as my way of telling those of you interested how to take control of your submissive partner. For many reasons, that labor holds no interest for me.

Firstly, if one could imagine my site as a graphical and lyrical expression of my dominant facet, when placed, in comparison, next to sites put up by other Alpha males, a vivid difference appears. Better put, one stern hand does not fit all bottoms.

Secondly, as much as anyone who visits here feels they have grown to know me through my words and my subject matter (alas, it is not possible to know me only through this portal), i know even less about the hands that click their way here and move my site counter gradually forward. I would not make prescriptions for folks i have no intelligence on regarding their backgrounds and circumstances because that lends itself to potentially unsafe situations. As much as i often let the gush of sexual arousal overcome me, safety, above all else, is the predominant rule in the House of Deity.

Having dispensed of those necessary disclaimers, i believe i can get on with the main course of this post. I've studied both academically and carnally the art of sadistic administration, and practiced my findings over many years. Through this long, concerted campaign of torturing beautiful girls, i've learned insider secrets, shortcuts, things-best-to-avoid and simple methods that, when employed devilishly, have achieved some fantastic results. I would like to offer some of this (sometimes clumsily attained) wisdom to the readers of "Her Erotic Demise" in the form of pointers.

I have in mind several topical areas i'd like to address, but as this is an online journal whose chief strength is its capacity for interactivity, i invite the fine folks who come by to submit their own requests. Either drop me a comment or an e-mail indicating a specific area of interest you'd like to hear a few pearls on (assuming i even have them on that particular subject).


oatmeal girl said...

thank you, thank you, thank you for your disclaimers. doms, perhaps fancying themselves omniscient, as well as their subs who also fancy their doms to be omniscient, seem to forget that a D/s relationship is still and above all a relationship. a relationship between (or among) human beings in all their variety and weaknesses. and any relationship is doomed to fail if you forget to consider the needs and feelings of the people involved.

pointers are great, and i'm looking forward to reading yours and using some of them as inspiration for discussion and maybe (gulp) experimentation.

but as in cooking, while it's great to try new recipes, it's important to remember to "adjust seasoning to taste."

Anonymous said...

Boy, I wanna ask things... Here's a question slightly outside the scope of what you were going to share - how do I maximize a man's growing desire for inflicting pain and domination? What do I do to bring more of those desires out to the surface?

doll said...

Having just been manipulated by one Dom into doing something i didn't wish to do whilst being able to reject another who chose a different route to achieve the same end i can safely say any pointers would be welcome by me. I am clearly still very naive where the clever machinations of Dominants are concerned.

kirana said...

Ok, here's a list for you to tackle (and i am anxiously awaiting the answers to all the aforementioned questions as well- how great of an opportunity for us curious minds!!)

i should warn you that i am rather inquisitive and contemplative…

For one, as a pure submissive, within that definition i do not have to fake any of my natural reactions to my Owner and nor do i pretend to play a part, what does it genuinely feel like to have the trust of a mind, body, soul in your hands? To know that you can crush its psyche as you wish and bare its neck to your cerebral knife... What is it like to have that power and control, like a Master puppeteer… in what ways, throughout the day, does it manifest?

i am curious as to what you think about as you’re winding down a scene… while i am shy to admit my own disappointment with myself (such as during a time when i cry or wiggle a tad bit) do you have those same thoughts? Like i should have lit into her harder… pushed her further… etc.?

i am also interested in hearing about those areas that turn you on like nothing else. And i am curious about your most edgy fantasy that has not been realized thus far… but it will… and then the one that will never be realized because it’s just too much…

See, told you i was a bit nosy. Feel free to edit as you wish.


Naughty Girl said...

Would you please explain how you navigate the line between pain for pleasure and physically (as in possibly needing medical attention) hurting her? I understand the spanking, marking, and such but does a dom really want to "hurt" her?

Deity said...

hello again! so nice to hear from you.

it's funny that you mentioned cooking, as i envisioned some of these pointers taking the format of a recipe.

my advice, taste frequently while cooking.

excellent question. i've already begun a post in an attempt to answer this. stay tuned. i assume you only want this pain and domination in the bedroom and for a limited scene, correct?

some would think naive, others would say expert at playing the prey. unfortunately, my pointers will more likely be for dominants as i cannot offer much from the submissive perspective.


i am most grateful for your list. what a wonderful assortment of topics for me to address. i'll happily oblige as best as my interests allow.

i have reluctantly avoided talking about the edgiest fantasies (yes, i have been holding back). i was afraid of scaring off the majority of my readers. i'll give the idea of sharing them great contemplation.

also a fantastic question. i intend to address this shortly. thanks so much for penning me a comment.