Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Myjaculate

No one's ever asked me to discuss my take on the male ejaculatory orgasm, let alone write an entire detailed post about it. When lg asked me if i'd be interested (rather mousily, and i'm sure she was nervously tracing a circle on her desk with her finger as she waited for my answer - but, alas, she didn't have to trace for too long), i was ecstatic. That's one topic i just never thought others would be interested in hearing my perspective on. I immediately replied yes with as much haste as possible.

And that's as far as my momentum went.

I struggled to find a place where i could begin. Talk about ejaculating? This is one of the few things that i've kept rather privately to myself. None of my partners have ever been particularly curious about what it's like to eject semen out of a penis, and frankly, the subject has never come up with anyone else. That doesn't mean i don't have a desire to spray my thoughts about cumming all over these pages. This indicates that i've struggled to organize my impressions in my head. And, truthfully, i think it's important that this make up part of this post. I'm still shocked that anyone would want to hear about a confidential sensation i've been experiencing nearly everyday for over a quarter of a century. My orgasm is such an emblematic part of me, as integral as my breathing, which makes it all the more difficult to parse and spread out onto a slide to be examined underneath an expository microscope. So, in order to tackle this project, i thought that i would employ a technique that i've used in the past to expound upon a subject. I've broken it up into three, ever expanding sections.

The first: Masturbation, pt. 1 (aka. thrilling)
As i've mentioned before, i really enjoy handling my penis. Sometimes, whilst mid-fondle, my somewhat flaccid member will start to respond and either out of boredom/curiosity/mischievousness i'll choose to push it further. I'll slide my penis between my fore and middle fingers and just wiggle them back and forth, inciting blood to rush into this appendage. Slowly the skin tightens, stretches, and expands. Very shortly, my erect penis is pointed in the air, slanted upwards, throbbing and bobbing in connection with my heartbeat. It's at this point where if i'm sitting, i will stand up. The preferred place for this form of ejaculation is a bathroom. I will lean (if i have privacy) against the edge of a sink, resting the outer rim of the bowl on my thighs, a few inches beneath my crotch. If in a public bathroom, i will pick a stall, and lean against the toilet, bracing my weight right underneath my knees. Regardless of where i am, the posture is all the same.

For this orgasm, all i'm interested in is cumming. It's not about being sexually turned on. It's merely for the sensation of the orgasm, but more importantly, the rush of thick, viscous fluids through the vas deferens, spurting finally out of the gaping hole on the tip of the penis. I will stroke my penis with my entire hand fully enclosed around it, applying more pressure on the underside. My hand glides over the flesh rapidly, causing my wrist to slam into my pelvic bone, and my thumb and forefinger smacking against the rim of my circumcised head. This feels incredible. Every nerve ending in my penis awakens, anxiously anticipating the rapid physical stimulation of my pistoning grip.

When i feel an electrical sizzle on both sides of my groin, i know i'm close. Here's where leaning against a toilet or sink comes into play (something i discovered completely by chance and to my benevolent grace). Timed perfectly with the rising crescendo, i will lean as far back as possible, maintaining my fast strokes, and tense my abdominal muscles as much as possible. This distributes the intense, pleasurable sensation of the orgasm all throughout my mid-section, building and building until finally, deep inside, i feel a pull from within. As if the semen could not be contained, it jets out of my penis, and with each expulsion, a concluding jolt of exquisite warmth explodes across my torso. As quickly as it was begun, it is over. The blood recedes, the erection subsides, and i am left to dispose of the creamy, thick evidence of my debauchery.

The second: Masturbation, pt. 2 (aka. uncontrollable)
Here enters the vast amounts of pornographic material i've accumulated. There is no mistake when i sit down (usually in front of the computer) what i have on my mind. I am already aroused, i've either awoken this way in the morning, which frequently happens, or just suddenly my chemical composition shifts, and i must satiate my customarily-high libido. When i am in this state, there is no need to manhandle my member to encourage blood flow. Blood floweth already. Blood rageth. I am achingly, obliteratingly hard.

In fact, i'm so aroused, that i must be careful in how i touch my penis. In this state, very little needs to occur for me to blow. I will cue up whatever girl being debased/objectified/minimized material i seek, and lower my undergarments. The difference in firmness and size in this state as opposed to the one i previously described is completely palpable. My penis is so swollen and engorged, it flushes a deep violet, purple tone. Starting the media, i take my fingers and lightly rub the underside of my genitals, caressing the (surprisingly) soft, skin, tracing over the wide, flanged head. This minimal contact is amazing. I can feel nerve endings in my spine react to this, crawling up my back and into my neck. It takes every ounce of restraint in my body to not grab a hold of this staff and start thrusting down on it.

When i do finally curl my meaty fingers around my penis, i just choke it at first, squeezing it which in turn causes a neural shudder to tremor through my core. This shakes off any civility left lingering in my foreground. In response, my jaw assumes an inhumane stance, with my lower teeth jutting forward. My breath purchases savage lungfuls of air from the atmosphere. The tendons in my hand scream "STROKE!". The rigid muscles in my forearm concur yelling "STROKE!". My eyes want to see this. My ears want to hear it. My nose wants to smell the thick, pungent musk of my beastly arousal. Playing over and over in my head are the images and sounds of the girl's hopeless plight.

When i begin stroking, blasts of euphoric current shoot down my thighs, past my knees. Jolts of pleasure sever through my crotch, using my penis like a lightning rod, boring megawatts of electrical sizzle deep into my prostate. With this much frenzied stimulation, it won't be long before i cannot hold back any longer. Depending on how long i want to go, i must cease immediately any contact with my penis in order to prolong my release. I will wait a few counts, then quickly jerk on my penis a handful of times, bringing me quickly back to the edge of that delicious waterfall. Then, once again, i pull my hand off. I breathe sinisterly, letting the flow of sadistic juices nourish my mind. I can sustain this dance of edging towards the crescendo for hours, or sow my seed in just a few minutes. Regardless of duration, my eruption remains the same. A sensation of live spirits collecting in my chest signals the commencement, and as these wild creatures join together and push through my veins, my penis begins to violently clench, spasming upward, setting off the ejaculatory impulses. Semen surges through my penis, spraying gush after gush of thin, briney liquid all up and down my torso. This can last upto a minute, and even after completion, the inelastic firmness remains for several minutes more.

The third: Fornication (aka. transformative)
This one was the toughest to write about because truthfully, there exist so many derivatives of this orgasm depending on which female orifice is used, which position she is in, and what other stimuli (i.e. sex toy, bondage, roleplay, fetish, etc.) is involved (or lack thereof). To attempt to capture them all would take numerous posts dedicated to each nuanced version (i.e. her mouth; lying on her back, head over the edge of the bed; blindfolded). I fear the intricacy of each one, although truly enjoyable research material for me to collect, would prove to be less than interesting to my readers. To boil this form of orgasm down to its essence, it is simplest to view this as the hands-free, genital-only, fornicating orgasm.

This is the most intrinsically male of the orgasms, and probably the one that most females are traditionally in the dark about. The masturbatory ones are about toying, frigging, diddling, playing. This one is serious. This one demonstrates the biological and psychological requirement that males must penetrate in order to fertilize the female. This orgasm is the most fulfilling, without a doubt. I gain a deep, intimate connection with my partner, but in addition to that, i embody my ingrained dominant tendencies the most when i use my penis to penetrate her. I'm sticking a part of myself inside of her. I'm inserting me into her. I am joining with her by going within her. I make a hole in her and fill it with me. Once inside of her, the most magnificent, incredible pleasure consumes me. That she has accepted me inside, has adapted to my fleshy intrusion, enveloped me, cradling my most sensitive and yet stimulative appendage satiates my desire to overcome, topple and conquer her. She has surrendered to me in this moment. I am her conqueror, she is the vanquished. I have a lavish, celebratory feast upon her banquet.

In retrospect, this act seems to imply the need for an apology on my behalf. It is done with such force - the kind that when attempted without the heightened hormonal state, would be viewed as barbaric and violent - and after a certain point (of no return) with zero regard for the recipient. In the beginning, when i first dabbled in the coital arts, i knew i held back out of trepidation for the horribly, hungry monster i knew i could become, sparing my lover this ghastly sight. But as i realized i couldn't control it, as its strength grew, sustained by the few droplets of sanguine blood in the water it sensed, i gave up all (completely futile) attempts at reining it in.

But i think that's what makes this such a delicate and treasured experience. Because of these moments, however long they last, we are forcibly removed from the artificial chains of civilization and humanity, and are instead treated as two galaxial bodies whose particles are violently slamming into eachother, creating new, unabashed passion.

We are ultimately and without any restraint, creating life.

13 comments:

baby girl said...

oh my!

this is the first description of the male orgasm that i've read. and wow! what a description it was.

i'm moved by how bestial your experience seems to be. the section describing your fornication orgasm left me with some rather primal urges of my own.

well done!

aimee said...

That was both incredibly hot and amazingly well written. I'm in awe.

Orlando C. said...

Wow, thanks D. These are precisely the sort of orgasms that I don't get to have, and you never, ever hear anyone describe them. I mean, describe in detail what they feel like. It gives me a kind of nostalgic glow...

Laani said...

I'm so glad you wrote this article for the project. I'm familiar with male orgasms only from the outside, and it's fascinating to hear it described by someone who experiences them.
:)

littlegirl said...

i want to agree with baby girl and aimee. hot holy hell! that was like...wow. i'm speechless.

ok, not too speechless to note that i loved the writing in this piece so very much. the topic was bound to fascinate me (that's why i asked you to write about it, afterall). but the way you described it is so *you,* it just makes me that much more excited.

thank you so much!

Destructicon said...

"That doesn't mean i don't have a desire to spray my thoughts about cumming all over these pages."

Read this in my office, and nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

Well done Deity. I've never thought of trying to explain it to our other halves before.

A few additional thoughts / questions?


- You mentioned (I think) two distinct 'styles' of masturbation -are those just your main ones or are there others that you might have forgotten about in your quest to explain the inexplicable?


I would reference the oh-so-laughably-accurate quote:

"The left hand's the lover, the right hand's the boss. One wants to light a candle and the other says: NOW!"

Being ambidextrous does have some excellent advantages...


- Does the quality / satisfaction you gain from an orgasm depend on the length of 'foreplay' or edging you do?

I've had the oh-so expedient 37 second blast in times of pressing need (or in times where one could be caught!) but find that those quickies are about as satisfying as a McDonald's cheeseburger: sure you can have one, but you're hungry again 15 minutes later!

Whereas, if you engage in 'edging' or intentionally prolonged periods of sexual arousal, more often than not the orgasm is closer to a nuclear explosion or supernova in terms of both its metaphoric and cubic volume descriptions...

I suppose there's quite a bit more material in your very thoughtful and (as usual) well worded post to probe - but those were the two thoughts that immediately occurred to me while reading your work...

Anonymous said...

I loved this post. I've always been fascinated with men--their bodies and what they can do with them. I've asked male friends about this subject, so what you've written seemed familiar to what I've heard before, but of course your writing/my reading aspect made it much more fascinating. In particular I liked 1 & 2 but that's due to a long held fascination with getting lovers to handle themselves for me. LOL. Very awesome post.

persephone said...

i'm only just getting a chance to really read project orgasm, and i'm noticing the way we all toured around to each other's blogs. we're so cute.

i thought this was a really great post, deity. i'm fascinated, and super curious now about whether other men would describe their orgasms in similar ways. i've always loved watching my partner masturbate... it's such an intimate moment. but my favorite part of your post was the last, the description of coitus. i love the way that we can feel our biological imperative in the act... it's so primitive and, well, hot. :) and you described it incredibly.

Deity said...

baby girl,
i'm glad it was a reasonable description. took me several attempts to get it there.

aimee (i've always loved this spelling),
thank you for your comment. anything specifically you enjoyed?

Orlando C,
Is it the kinda nostalgia one has as an adult when you realize you can't jump into the ball pit at the Chuck E. Cheeses?

Laani,
Well, i'm sure you experience them, but more from the perspective of the muse.

lg,
By "so *you*", do you mean long-winded, melodramatic, yet engrossing? Because i'd agree with you if that were the case.

Thank you for asking me to participate. It was a privilege to be included and very enjoyable to riff on a theme that i didn't wholly derive.

Destructicon,
I'm glad you caught that line.

-They are my main ones. There's also the masturbating-while-walking-around-my-apartment, getting off without removing my pants and just shifting it back and forth (very common), as well as masturbating in the shower (a favorite but rare one).

- It absolutely is exponentially more incredible the more i, as you put it, "edge". The outcome with these prolonged bouts also is exceedingly more voluminous.


Anon,
I've had a few partners who've enjoyed watching me masturbate. I certainly enjoy watching them.

meg,
Aren't we?

I would love to hear how other men describe their orgasms. But, unless they are incredibly comfortable with themselves, i will never directly get to hear them talk about it.

Thank you for your lovely compliment.

arielmorgan said...

...Always love it when you get verbose. ;)

(Btw, I hadn't had the time available to be checking back as much since several posts ago when you were taking a holiday from blogging, glad to see you have returned, at least in part.)

Cheers,
-Ari

nebbish said...

This was incredibly interesting! I've often wondered what it's like when a guy cums. Very well written, too, you have a gift :]

Deity said...

arielmorgan,
i'm glad to see you've been able to find time again to visit. i've overcome my issues previously, so i should certainly be more prolific.

nebbish,
i wouldn't call it a gift, just too damned stubborn to post any ole thing. but thank you for your kind compliment.

Anonymous said...

glorious in the telling sir. and delicious in the vicarious thrill of such visceral sensations.....

thank you for shedding a wonderous illumination on this journey....

xoxo The Velvet Lilly