Every night, i have my girl ask me if she can go to bed. That wasn't always the rule. It grew more out of an impulse that i developed.
Once we moved in together, we noticed that our bedtimes did not coincide with each other. She's one that really requires a good amount of sleep, and i'm one who can do with very little. I've always been this way, never enjoying the act of sleeping. In fact "sleeping in" for me usually has me crawling out of bed at the late hour of 7:30 AM. My girl, on the other hand, really enjoys, but more importantly, values sleep. This is not to say that she is one of those marathon slumberers who can doze until 3 in the afternoon. But, compared to me, she might as well be Nip Van Winkle.
Very often, i would escort her to bed, and naturally felt an urge to tuck her in. I loved wiping the hair out of her eyes, speaking a few soothing words to her and giving her a kiss on her forehead. This urge came and went, until one evening she was lumbering off to the bedroom and i demanded where she was going.
"I'm going to bed."
"Don't you think you should ask first?"
"Is that something i need to do now?"
I'm not one of those dominants who demands a strict, micro-managed regiment of minute-by-minute approvals for everything that she does. In fact, i have nearly enough of that at work, i couldn't fathom trying to manage it in my relationship. However, something about putting a lien on the slumber ritual really stimulated me. It both calmed and excited me to tuck my girl in at the end of the day. At its essence, i wanted to put her away.
We do not use terms like "daddy" or "little girl". In fact, i believe we'd tried them, and they just felt false. But the sentiment behind those terms are very much at play here. I enjoy the idea that she looks to me for correction, guidance, and wisdom but that she also exposes herself to me so that i can soil her, debase her and suspend her idolatrous innocence long enough for me to use her, and then, send her off to bed.