The short answer to the question "Does a dominant want to hurt his submissive?" is:
Yes
However, i feel this subject truly deserves a longer answer.
This is a question that has been posed to me by several of the girls i've placed at the receiving end of my sadistic cruelty. I understand why they ask it. The desire to "hurt" someone is unethical, brutal, mean, indicative of a lack of respect for the person you hurt. The submissive has always hoped when asking this question that i utilize pain to affect some other measures rather than just physical duress. After all, inflicting pain on someone else can be illegal, depending on the intent, and no girl wants to believe that after she's consented to this treatment she's ultimately become the victim of a crime.
I think the clarity in this discussion can be discovered by drawing the distinction between 'hurting someone' and 'causing them pain'. I have left my submissives' flesh bruised, scratched and bloodied. Were these signs of force purposeful or just convenient side effects from another leading agenda? No. I hit them as hard as i did to cause damage to the flesh. Did i want to injure the submissive, to maliciously send her to the hospital? Not at all. I didn't want to abuse her, but i most certainly wanted to cause pain.
Pain affords many possibilities. It is a medium that is rich and diverse, and insists upon a quick and immediate response. When you slap a leather strap across her thigh, you don't want to hear mechanized or artificial groans of suffering - lest a yelp that sounds rehearsed. You want to inflict something that genuinely shocks them, causes them to jerk their head towards you and offer you their curled, tortured brow. You want their look to connect the path of this burning sensation to your dominant position that allows you to dispense it. You want to hear a cry that is the result of your judicious sentence. You want to hear her pleading for release, you want to push her to a point of discomfort where her body fills her flesh with endorphines, exacting her from the regular droll routine of daily life.
I get off on the sounds of feminine struggle. The whimpers as they are formed through curved female lips. The grunts that express her acceptance of her irremovable bondage. The screams that roar out into the air a ballad of pure vivacity. Nothing arouses this concerto of noise like the all-immersive qualities of pain.
In the late 19th Century, when ether was discovered, the world erupted, jubiliantly declaring that humanity had conquered pain. I personally do not see this goal as ever being beneficial. Pain is as crucial to the human existence as love is. And i have found, because it has received such a poor social stigma, great feats of physical exploration can be accomplished when pain is used carefully, surgically and intelligently.
12 comments:
It's rather a funny question from a submissive as we so desperately want someone to administer pain to us. I have asked this question of Master but it was more to be sure that he really, truly gained as much pleasure from giving pain as i do from receiving. Because i don't have a lust to cause pain it is hard for me to envisage that someone else may have.
i sent this on to the man who owns and loves me and who is looking forward to doing all sorts of mean and nasty things to me when he visits next weekend. as i suspected, he quite agrees with your sentiments. he is especially fond of my cries and whimpers and has been disappointed that so far his canings, while painful (especially last time) have not yet brought produced a cataract of tears.
to produce tears, he has only to let me cum. but he is exceedingly stingy with my orgasms, as he reminded me yet again this morning. (i'm a very unhappy girl at the moment. my unrelieved arousal hurts, which of course he enjoys immensely. )
he derives strength from my suffering, he revels in his power, and he knows that it cleanses and centers me.
(except for not being able to cum. that doesn't cewnter me whatsoever!!! ugh. i have to convert this from a focus on not being able to cum to a focus on his control, which does help me. concentrate... concentrate... i can do this... )
sorry for wandering from the topic. this is when a good long spanking would help. see? back on topic!
I often ask this question of my Dominant. Or more accurately, I'm always asking him *why.* (Although, screw the reason; I love taking the pain, so why question?)
In any case, your statement about wanting to hear the "concerto of noise" seems right on the mark. He loves the wailing and moaning, and especially the begging and the sobbing.
Best,
Kitten
there are two reasons i would ask that question. one would be that i was trying to be manipulative and make him realize that he was, in fact, hurting me. the other would be that i just wanted to hear him say the simple "yes."
(although, as always, i like your more in depth explanation.)
doll,
i haven't found that all submissives want pain. in fact, there are those who are quite averse to it. i know that i've witnessed some struggle with a bottom who worried what it meant about her to crave and enjoy pain.
o.g.,
i too would be quite disappointed to not extract tears. i was surprised the day i realized that my girl is incredibly sexy when she cries.
i hope you show your comment with its "wandering" (and eventual resurrection) to your man.
kitten,
welcome to my comment walls.
i especially enjoy the concerto when filtered through a gagged or covered mouth.
lg,
the matter-of-factly short answer is usually my instinctual response. i've had to in my daily life interactions learn that not everyone responds well to that method.
however, i'm glad you enjoyed the verbose response.
i don't think i'd necessarily want to hear that my owner had a different reason for wanting to cause pain. i'd want to hear that it was something he wanted for himself first and foremost, definitely, and not something he was doing for me in any way.
i am one of those submissives who does not enjoy pain, though. so the only way that pain can be framed as "for" me would be if it is to teach me a lesson. and yet still, i much prefer to know that i am being physically challenged because my owner desires it for *himself* and his own pleasure.
meg,
i can't say i've rationalized in my mind the justification for why i insist on administering pain, but i know i've always enjoyed making someone writhe. there were times someone would let me do it, and those when they wouldn't, and i almost never assumed those that relented did because they wanted pain.
Once more, thoroughly satisfying. i get on kicks of wondering "why" every now and then and i can never figure out why i like to cry, to scream out, to fear the footsteps behind me... i just do. Upon reading this response, not whole across the board but significantly powerful, i feel a little better about the "why" and the "because" response that goes round and round inside my head.
i don't see 'it' as much as "the pain" and the respective administration/acceptance as i feel it as the "do" order and corresponding "jump" act. Just short of "take this for me, becuase i like the way it makes you cry" and the "Yes, Sir, because i feel ridiculous murmuring behind the gag with a runny nose and showing weakness..." There's a sense of freedom.
Anyway, sorry to hijak your comment section. As you can tell, i've been patiently awaiting a response to these interesting questions. Reponses from your side are at a premium these days *s*
All my best,
toy
toy,
freedom, ahhhhhh...what i wouldn't give to feel that more frequently. but, you are of course absolutely right.
during these moments, no one is doubting, questioning, rejecting. everything between us is free and fulfilled.
i took the occasion of this latest exchange of comments to reread the post and discussion. this time what stood out for me was "You want to inflict something that genuinely shocks them [...]"
that's part of why i crave the pain, and why it centers me and clears my mind. certainly the philosopher had sadistic cravings before he met me and acted them out. but now, i think he also gets off on the power - not just to make me submit, not only to make em cry, but to heal me, if only for the moment.
i think submissives will always crave an answer to why. we are the two parts of an equation that yields a magic explosion, and can't help wanting to get into each other's heads.
oddly, I've never questioned why I like to offer my pain; nor why it satisfies something deep inside to provide the pleasure of my pain to my D. - to me, it is "IS" - and ultimately, of course, protracted sessions provide such a sublime form of meditation for me - the pain providing the path to nirvana.
He, on the other hand, struggled mightily (and still does at times) with his desire to inflict pain and derive such pleasure from it on me - who he loves.
To me it is fairly straightforward.
He likes it becuase he can - it satisfies something deeply buried in him that eliciting the type of reactions he CAN is ultimately supremely delicious -
I mean, it MUST feel good to a dominant to KNOW that he can do this - this thing that truly HURTS and the object of his ministrations will not only TOLERATE it but in turn, gets a deep satisfaction from the offering - which to my mind, puts the finger on the difference between a sadist in the lifestyle and a plain ole' garden variety sadist.
A sadist in the lifestle recognizes the symbiotic relationship and is apprecaitive and grateful for it; he in truth has kindness and care for the object of his sadism and in truth, does not want to permanently injure them - mentally, physicaly, spiritually.
a garden variety sadist in fact does not WANT the object of his sadism to enjoy it at ALL - on any level - thus the difference.
Thanks for leaving a link to this on my blog I really enjoyed reading the other side to my essay on masochism.
Post a Comment