The greatest inconvenience i've ever encountered...

...is that of a woman and my reaction to her.

He was so politically saavy. He had to be, to have held office as long as he had. Over 40 years. I was young and brash when i decided to go up against him. I thought that i had more than those hundreds of others who'd tried to topple him but failed. He completely embarassed me. He not only embarassed me, he handicapped me for several years, undoing so much progress i'd made in my own political career, sending me back to the land of the bureaucrat.

One night, following my political defeat, i was attending a civic party just like any other. The Mayor would ask us to stand by him as he gave his remarks on whatever token issue he had chosen to highlight that evening in front of the press. Then, we would be dispersed to mingle among the crowd, spreading the good word about our faithful civil servants. I decided to bide my time as close to the East Wing open bar for as long as possible, camping there out of sight of any mayoral staffers. Out of the side of my eye, a delicious young sandy blonde caught my attention, saddling up to the bar. I noticed she asked for two drinks. I asked her if she needed help. She politely declined, adding,"My husband prefers my company solely." Point taken. I followed her disembarkment from the bar, as she slid along the floor full of the city's socialites. Her final destination stunned me into a near paralysis. I couldn't believe the fortune that my revenge had just leaned her elbows up against the polished mahogany next to me. She handed the second drink to the very man who'd gleefully wrecked my name in public.

Through various channels, i found my way to her. She knew who i was, and i knew, now, who she was. We dispensed very quickly of the need for proper protocol as recent political combatants. I set the terms of my engagement early. I wanted to use her to get at him. She indulged my desire for one, as-of-yet, unpublicized reason: the man was completely impotent. Due to a bout with cancer (also unpublicized), he had lost his ability to perform any sexual act, meaning he'd completely lost his libido. This would explain his rampant voracity for political slaughter in the later years. For her part, she was caught. She didn't want to leave him because she genuinely loved him, but she also needed satisfaction in addition to retribution for his failure to disclose his handicap before they were legally bound to eachother. The situation kept on getting sweeter and sweeter.

At first, i played with her in mildly sadistic fashions. I would call her up, insisting that she be in bed with him next to her, as she played with herself. In the early stages, i just wanted the spectre of her masturbation to hang in the air. I didn't want her to make any noises or motions to draw his attention. As time progressed, i instructed her to let out soft moans, just low enough for him to hear her. This filled me with such dastardly joy. I didn't know if it bothered him, but i had a sense that he was experiencing a level of humiliation that his young, sexpot of a bride was taking care of maintenance he was no longer equipped to manage. That sense went away pretty quickly. I came to learn that i didn't know if it was humiliating him like i'd hoped. Yet, more importantly, i didn't stop escalating the degredation with his sexy, unfulfilled wife.

If pressed, i attribute it to her incredible snottiness. She was a bitch of the highest class. I loved toppling her. I would devise scenarios where she would be forced to engage in awfully humiliating public scenes. I'd instruct her, the very public wife of the very powerfully connected senior political figure, to go to a shoe store wearing a skirt and no panties, with the objective to flash the poor, unsuspecting salesman as many times as possible. My absolute favorite was when i commanded her to travel to my offices downtown in nothing but a trenchcoat and heels, well knowing that she would have to go through the metal detectors and security checkpoints just to get past the lobby. Once on my floor, she was to slowly walk to my office with her coat lowered onto her bare shoulders, only to come inside and spend the rest of the day posed underneath my desk, with her head between my legs.

As time moved on, i realized this wasn't about revenge against the Old Man. Our's was a battle on the field of politics, and he had performed more valiantly and won. I fought a different battle with her. It stemmed from my view that the greatest inconvenience i've ever experienced is that of a woman and my reaction to her.