Monday, June 11, 2007

Internal affairs

Every summer, the Director of HR comes down to tell me that i've (mysteriously) qualified once again for the annual Regents Internship Program, and that in the next few weeks, i'm to interview the list of candidates whose profiles met my seasonal needs. She will shyly wink at me as i inquire into the "quality" of the crop this year, assuring me that i will find several qualified applicants.

The following two weeks, my secretary will arrange interviews every afternoon from 2-4, wherein i will meet the various candidates who've among all of them, never had experience in an office or department like mine. My secretary, who i would know not what to do with my daily industry were it not for her diligent inspection and filtration of anyone who would try to get a moment of my time, has further whittled down the list to ensure that the right fit will be among them.

Every single person i interview, it should come as no shock, is female.

During each screening, I see a complete spectrum of red tones flushing their cheeks, a display of the various acrobatic skills their fingers have as they nervously twirl them on the conference table, but almost never the whites of their eyes. Out of the handful that i interview, one or two will stand out. They are the ones who tilt their head as they softly but with some grip to it, shake my hand, offering a smile that lifts my gravity up from my ankles. They laugh at my dry humor, and appropriately stifle a forced chuckle when i'm being absurd. They are the ones that stick in my mind, leaving me with an excitement at the idea that they might flit around my office all summer.

Once i've selected the one i want, i have my secretary draft letters to all who came in. Polite dismissals to those who didn't earn the position, and a detailed list of guidelines and expectations to the one who did. And yes, there is a run-down of the dress code i expect.

I do not mention the dress code at all beyond the correspondance they receive in the form of an offer letter, but, not a single intern in the last seven years has failed to comply. There have been those incidents where i know for a fact that the intern was testing my resolve, and i have had to send them home for the day as a result. Some have even gone home crying. But, they've always returned, and by the end of the summer, we've developed quite a deep and sincere rapport. A good handful of my past interns keep in touch with me even to this day (one flattered me two years ago by asking me to walk her down the aisle).

I provide them with an exposure to an office environment, especially one that deals with as diverse a cross-section as government officials, union representatives, stodgy accountants, and high-level management. But something tells me, that's not why i continue to have success with the interns i've selected over the years. There are those days where i will call her into my office, ask her to close the door and just sit in the chair as i work.

She knows why she's there, and so do i.

*this continues on here


littlegirl said...

well, now you can't write a post like that and not tell us what your dress code for these young women is, can you? if you do, that is a total tease!

on a different topic, i've been meaning to ask you about your girl's dress code. you mentioned once that she types at her job, and also that she wears corsets nearly every day (in addition to occasionally donning 6 inch red stillettos). without prying too much into her personal information, can you tell me if she works in suits, or a business casual environment. i ask because i am fascinated with the idea of coreseting underneath a suit (for myself). i was wondering if she does it, and how she manages to maintain discretion if she does.

a pleasure always!


wordslut said...

Oh, please do share the exact dress code.


Deity said...

Goodness! How do i not share now? I had no idea it would be all that interesting.

Approved bottoms -
Skirts and dresses, no higher than the knee, except on Fridays where they are not to go above mid-thigh, no slits longer than 5".

Bottoms not permitted - Pants, jeans, shorts, cut-off, leather, sweatsuit or shiny material.

Approved tops - Button-up blouses, sensible sweaters, elegant-looking short sleeve knit tops, and turtlenecks.

Tops not permitted - v-necks or anything that reveals too much cleavage, t-shirts, sweatshirts, or anything overly tight.

Approved jewelry - single-strand necklaces, stud earrings, tennis bracelets (one on each arm), modest rings (not more than 3 per hand).

Jewelry not permitted - Dangly or hoop earrings, Gawdy costume jewerly made of bright colors or plastic, multiple bracelets, facial piercings, rings that have initials/names/logos.

Approved shoes - Heels/boots w/2-4" heel, rounded toe, mary janes, neutral or primary color fabric.

Shoes not permitted - pointed toe, multi-strapped, metallic colors, sneakers, flip-flops, "crocs", flats, Doc Martins, and clods.

Approved perfume - muted, delicate, traces of scent

Perfume not permitted - doused, abrasive, pathchouli, citrusy

Hands must be neatly manicured and polished. The same goes for toes when open-toed shoes are worn.

Hair must be pulled back so as to not hide the face and must be worn/brushed/styled in a feminine manner.

the environment she works at is mostly professional, but i can assure you she is easily the best dressed on her floor. She does have skirt suits (because it would have to be a skirt now, wouldn't it?), but she typically wears corsets with her dresses. Anything too tight, even though we have had the busks of her corsets designed to be flat-fronted, can reveal the bottom edge of her corset through the material. To hide this, she wears full skirts, petticoats, crinoline and other things that bow out from her hips. If you were to corset beneath a suit, you would need to make sure it falls high on the hips.

One of her favorite sites is where she gets a good number of her dresses that conveniently (and deliciously) fit her corsetted torso.

Amber said...

I keep reading your blog and I am loving it - it just really stands out in a special way, and I am not a big blog reader, actually, except a few.