Tuesday, March 24, 2009


It is a frequent past time of mine to take in an evening of burlesque - a task made much easier with the increased number of venues providing this risque showcase. However, it can be a costly outing as most places charge a door fee as well as require a two drink minimum. In these lean times, it is important to conserve, but it is also critical to not constantly surround yourself with gloomy news and warnings of disaster. We all need an escape, what better way then to shuffle on down to the clambering cabaret to watch the glittery gallivanting gams of gorgeous gals?

It's always a joy to watch my girl get ready for an evening out. I'd gotten her a pair of Natacha Marro shoes for Christmas, and she had yet found the opportunity to show them off. Seeing as they are a full 8" (with the 2" platform) i suggested she get in a little home practice with them before fully trotting them out. She settled for a more modest 5" pair of black leather heels, matching it with her white swing dress with red polka dots from DaddyO's.

When we arrived at the venue, even though we arrived early, there was still a line out the door. It never ceases to amaze me how popular this form of entertainment has become over the years, and at the time i remember feeling happy that such a showcase was drawing folks out on a cold Saturday night. I told my girl to go find seats and i would check our coats and get us some cocktails.

When i finally snagged two Manhattans (neat), i looked for my doll. I was pleasantly surprised to find her saving a chair for me right at the foot of the stage, despite the fact that it was standing room only at this point. I squeezed my way forward to find her engaged in several conversations with strangers on one subject alone: her look. She has a very striking, beautiful appearance without all the dolling up. However with a bonnet of tight ebony curls atop her head, white alabaster powder dusting her delicate features, bright brown eyes framed by long sinewy lashes, and her signature cherry red lipstick, she is one of the most stunning sights in any room. She gathers many stares and many inquiries as to where she gets her apparel. Always a modest and polite young lady, she deflects their compliments to the various vendors she patronizes and almost ALWAYS tells people that her waist is only as a result of her corset tightlacing (but for some reason neglects to inform them of her dedicated dietary discipline).

With all of this attention helping to pass the time, the show's start happened upon us much quicker than expected. So far, the night had been very enjoyable, and i looked forward to the evening's card of dancers as the stage's curtain pulled a part for the opening.

The famous Julie Atlaz Muz pranced onto the stage, performing a dazzling routine with feathers and dollar bills tossed into the air like confetti. Following her, a very pretty girl who called herself 'Queen Laqueefa'. Her act was a little more gruff, and eventually surprised me when she showed both her off-limits naked tits and cunt by the end of her appearance. A few more dancers went by, and then we were treated to one of my favorite girls in the circuit. Melody Sweets is a rare talent in the field of burlesque dancers as she not only teases the audience with the peeling off of her clothes, she also tantalizes our ears with her melodic voice singing along with her musical accompaniment. Her act finished the first set, leaving a 30-minute break of go-go dancing from Ms. Muz and Her Royal Highness Laqueefa.

I wish i could say with what had transpired so far, that the evening ended on a high note. However, that was not the case. Once the burlesque festivities re-took the stage, the theme of the routines took on a much grittier, even manic tone to them. A few of the girls performed garish acts of drunken clumsiness, and the glamor and grace of the first half was trampled by raunchy hip gyrations. Even the energy in the audience seemed to shift. Whereas before, the crowd hooted and hollered with supporting aplomb, they now roared with a vitriolic, gutty hunger that seemed to demand chunks of flesh tossed to them. All of this was a perfect setting for the next explosive performer.


Out stumbled this metallic blue, mohawk haired trollop, a bottle of champagne wagging from her flimsy grip. She'd take a mouthful of the swill and then spray it outward into the audience. Nothing about this act struck me as funny, entertaining or endearing. She continued with this pageantry as if she thought it unique enough that no one on stage in the history of live performance had done the same. But, then, even the projection of her salivatized precipitate wasn't enough. She whipped off her tiny G-string, revealing her even tinier tranny member, and proceeded to piss all over the first row (including myself) of spectators. I couldn't believe what i'd just seen. People scattered, trying to avoid her trail of fountainous urea, and all i could do was sit there in absolute shock and disgust.

Nothing about this was entertaining or engaging. I'm a big believer in taking risks and challenging the established set of ideals and values (if anyone doubts this, please feel free to scan my archives), but this act was just plain trash. Burlesque, when it's good, presents the female form in a frollicky, fun and seductive manner. The tease is in fact its greatest asset. Skimming the bottom of the bucket by taking it all off and putting it on display like a cheap, down on her luck hooker is found in strip clubs across this country already. I find that extremely depressing, demeaning and idiotic. By the time i gathered my thoughts enough to realize what i'd just seen, i put on my jacket and escorted my girl towards the exit, sad that the evening had dipped so low.


Vesta said...

A marvellous write-up of your evening!

I could see the whole darn thing in my mind, right from the promise in your mind of a good night to be had, right through to your quite appropriate disgust at what had just taken place.

I hope, for your sakes, that the girls get the message that no-one is interested in watching them be gross.

Anonymous said...


How did your girl fare in the calamity?

Have you considered sending the club owner your dry cleaning bill? -Or otherwise communicated dissatisfaction with regards to that part of the show?

One can argue semantics about subjective art all they want, blatant public urination is an act of ludeness, not art or generally acceptable 'entertainment'.

Anonymous said...

1) Nice shoes you bought your girl.

2) Sorry you got peed on.

Trish said...

that is, indeed, sad to hear. I agree that less is more, there is such as style, and many simply just don't get it...

Marie 'entrain said...

Out of curiosity i googled Rosewood, to see if I could find more than what your link showed. That was a bad decision on my part... I think that was one of the most disgusting things that I have ever seen. I am truly sorry you two had to witness that.

victory regained said...

I'm sorry to hear that your evening ended so horribly. I've noticed that in our society classiness is no longer something common. Apparently this lack of sophistication is effecting even the finer things in life. :(

David said...

It is unfortunate that something that can be such a high (camp) art form was dragged down to such a trashy level.
Unfortunately, many things these days are taken over the top to the bottom on the other side.
Regrets to you and your girl for what should have been a wonderful evening, ruined.

Anonymous said...

It's sad that an appreciation of the erotic seems to have been replaced by the overtly sleazy. There is a HUGE difference, but few seem to care these days.

I'm sorry your evening with your girl did not turn out well. Hopefully, you both were able to salvage it.


Destructicon said...


Did you take the time to write/phone the managment of the joint?

I wonder how much needless pain and suffering of other people could be prevented?

-"Does anyone have any hand-sanitzer? I just got hosed by a tranny sleaze bag!"-

baby girl said...

i love a good burlesque show! i don't get to go as often as i'd like, but the art is growing in popularity in my neck of the woods and the opportunities to attend such an event are thankfully becoming more frequent.

i'm sorry you had such a negative experience. at my first burlesque show, i was surprised at how "wholesome" the whole thing felt. i mean, sure there was near-nudity, tons of suggestive content, and a very sensual atmosphere, but all in all, it just felt like good clean fun. i'm sorry your evening was sullied.

ps. i want to thank you for introducing me to daddyo's the first time you mentioned it on these pages. i've since purchased three of their beautiful dresses and a pair of kitty cat shoes! i have a wish list a mile long for the frocks i hope to acquire in the future. :)

pps. i couldn't help but laugh out loud at anon's comment. i too am sorry you got peed on.

Deity said...

Apparently, gross-out burlesque is one movement within the neo-burlesque movement. Clearly, not for me.

My complaints were expertly lodged with dignity. Whether it changes managements decision to include that kind of stuff in their shows is really dependent upon the market's response, not mine.

1). aren't they lovely?
2). me too

again, i was shocked to learn that there are sectors of the population who enjoy this kind of shock. if they didn't, dancers like rosewood wouldn't find venues to perform.

i should've offered a warning for my readers to avoid googling, but knowing you guys, you would've done EXACTLY that BECAUSE i warned you.

classiness may be in short supply, but perhaps that's what makes it all the more genuine and valuable.

Anything else you can offer as an example of other things that are taken over the top?

it sounds like a good number of folks are offering there resignation at the lack of class and dignity in the erotic. is that the case for most people? and if so, what do they think is the cause?

i gather that my reaction was in the minority, as most people stayed behind for the rest of the show.

baby girl,
it's my pleasure to have led you to that fantastic site. i'd like to see it and others get more and more exposure, for sure.

Kitty du Vert said...

i would just like to make an editorial correction that my shoes that night were red, not black.

also, don't think it was real pee. though it was nonetheless real gross.