Monday, November 26, 2007

Conjectural relations

Visiting family for the holidays does not in any way feel sexy or erotic. In fact, in many ways it sucks any urges i may have to indulge in my sexual needs. When i travel back home, i use the downtime that comes from driving from one widely spaced-out relative to another as a way to decompress from the often stressful experience spending time with the relations provides. Typically, i manage to pack in well over a dozen individual visits with a different person on my holiday sojourn, sometimes seeing a handful of people in one day (i have a humongous family and many old friends). Over the past few years, i've brought my girl along with me which has introduced variables i hadn't fully anticipated.

Most commonly, we stay at someone's house, sleeping in guest rooms, bedrooms of children momentarily discharged on our behalf, or even couches. Even though there are moments of arousal as we lie together in our temporary sleeping quarters, we do not dare act on them out of propriety and respect for our host.

To remedy this urge to consummate, i have taken the initiative to declare one evening out of our stay of pure solitude for me and my girl. We stay at a secluded lodge tucked away in the mountains. The bed and breakfast we escape to is a completely self-contained cabin that offers us total privacy. To me, this option serves as such a relief, as it permits a much needed outlet of stress and anxiety these visits with family always wallop me with. In preparation, i'll pack a TSA-alerting assortment of toys and equipment (without fail, every time we open our bag we find a little "how do ya do") that allows us to have a decent but modest play session, invariably replete with some much needed spanking.

Another variable involves how my kin reacts to us. I grow so accustomed to the way in which my relationship with my girl functions that i tend to overlook how it appears to others. Where i live, we have established such a comfortable niche that few interruptions to our sexual agenda present themselves. However, my family and hometown friends do not regularly see a corseted girl who wears nothing but skirts and dresses in the chill of winter or has inch-long artificial nails dangling from each of her fingertips. In this way, to these incredibly vanilla people, my girl comes off a little out of place.

I'm always struck by how much defensiveness i feel whenever a relative makes a comment about how odd her extremely hour-glassed waist appears or when their eyes grow big at the first sight of her manicured talons thrashing through the air as she gestures with her hands while relating some entertaining story of hers. I know that in the worst-case scenario they judge her, which always riles me up. I see these few disparagements as a rejection of our lifestyle, of someone i deeply love and, ultimately, me. Thankfully, these altercations are few, as most of my family members remain politely uncertain as to why someone would choose to "limit" themselves this way. My close family has grown accustomed to my girl's appearance and the occasional times i act in a dominant fashion towards her. A few have even inquired further, indulging in natural curiosities such oddities arouse, which have led to some gentle but eye opening discussions about power exchange. I value these opportunities to chat about SM with a selected set of family members because it allows me to be myself around them, more and more, but also gives me a thrill that i may provide insight into a way of life they themselves would enjoy. I can't be the only sadistic nut hanging from our family tree.


jayne said...

Oh i like that 'sadistic nut hanging from the family tree' so very, very clever.

I must say i like returning to my family and being completely different, but then they have known i am eccentric for a long time.

If you would care to view my nails i have posted some photos on my blog,

Welcome back.

wordslut said...

Fascinating! I have been wondering how situations such as this would work.

Deity said...

i go in between flaunting my sexuality and keeping it very private, especially with regards to family. for some reason, they're comments can have the capacity for the greatest wound.

does it sound by my description like something you'd enjoy?

littlegirl said...

the thing about this post that touched me is that no matter if we are vanilla, or incredibly not-vanilla, we want our given family to accept the family we've chosen for ourselves. i always feel protective of mark around my family, and conversely, of my family around mark. i can complain (amply) about either, but be protective about either complaining about the other. they're mine, like it or not. even when i don't like it.

Sub Nouveau said...

Why am I confused that someone would be taken aback by a woman's hourglass shape? I thought that was enviable?

Anyway, it is always stressful to meet your sig o's family, and you know what, they'd probably talk shit even if she wore a twinset and pearls.

"kin" somehow I think you might be a southerner like myself.

Deity said...

i've witnessed this phenomenon with other people who range from rabidly protective of their family to subtly defensive. I happen to fall outside of this spectrum and take what (within reason) someone has to say about my family as objective criticism - something i can't even offer. It's those i have had the luxury of choosing (friends, lovers, etc.) for whom my defenses arise.

well, her hourglass figure is QUITE exaggerated, which to some comes off as freakish, especially in proportion to her very round hips.

i have my open range roots to thank for the introduction of the word "kin" into my vocabulary.