Monday, May 28, 2007

Thankfully, looks are deceiving

I've been described as the following (as recently as within the past week):
Preppy, even geeky
Harmless (jesus)

At one time or another, i've been told i look like one of the following, or in fact mistaken for them (seriously):
Tobey Maguire (someone thought i might be a stunt-double of his)
Robert Downey Jr. (on two separate occasions, i've been approached for his autograph)
Jake Gyllenhall
Jonathan Rhys-Meyers (they had to explain to me who he was)
Hugh Grant (both pre and post Hookergate)

My job is one where i am supposed to deal with working class stiffs (who honestly i look forward to dealing with), stodgy, government bureaucrats, and overpaid company executives. I must be somewhat presentable, amenable and likeable.

All of this put together in one package has crafted a huge hurdle to overcome whenever i'd revealed to a girl my darkest minustrations. They honestly wouldn't believe me at first. They thought i was pulling their leg when i would tell them that on the 2nd date i'd like to tie them up and then proceed to eat the very romantic, candle-lit dinner i'd prepared in front of them. I'm not complaining, per se. I'm actually quite fond that when i walk into a bank, the last thing on the teller's mind is that i might be the one most likely to ponder how to pull off a heist.

However, this contrast persists a lifelong bout of secrecy and cloaking of my true self. I suppose if i dressed all in leather, grew my hair out and studded my accessories, i'd be able to more outwardly express my inner polemic. But, as i recognize that too would not be me, i'm stuck with having to settle with revealing my realistic identity to a select and guarded few.


persephone said...

i understand being typed by the way you look-- it's true that no one would guess from looking at me that i write a blog of erotica and regularly am expected to crawl around naked and stuff like that. but their view of me-- as a sweet and innocent librarian type-- doesn't have SO much contrast to the person i show behind closed doors (i'm still a sweet and innocent librarian, just a slutty sweet and innocent librarian). i would hate to feel like i was hiding part of my identity. don't you?

i also want to add that the only celebrity i was ever mistaken for (by a pair of small children) was ariel the little mermaid. :)

weather girl said...

As Persephone suggests, appearances are complicated by people's assumptions about our looks. In my case, I'd say it's everything from how I look to my public persona and confidence in that world. It clashes with their preconceptions... even the preconceptions of doms I've known -- and God knows, you all have a 6th sense for a submissive female.

But I make no such assumptions about doms. The only relationships I've had in the D/s world were with non-leather 'straight' types. And I like that... I'm private about my personal life, and see no reason why he wouldn't be private as well. Besides, I would hope that most people, even doms, are complex. Lightness and dark in the same person.

I might not guess a 'Tobey Maguire' type is a dom; but once he tells me he is and quits guarding that side of himself in front of me, I expect I'd feel it fairly easily. No?

(As for "harmless"? Perhaps a small adjustment is called for...)

littlegirl said...

perhaps it's because i can expect to spend the majority of my professional life buttoned into suits, and surrounded by the same. however, the thought that there are men like you running around with short hair, relative youth and GQ looks makes me very, very happy;)

i adore the thought that underneath our vanilla exteriors, we all have our dirty little secrets. i am so glad you don't have long hair and wear leather! (not that there's anything wrong with that . . . )


{milla} said...

Someone thought i was Jodie Foster once.


Hopefully not in Nel.


Deity said...

i feel connected to my outside persona and feel that my dominance should be readily apparent to anyone who encounters me. Some see it, some don't. This post was motivated by a very good friend of mine who i introduced to my "naughty" journal and who's comment was, and i quote:
"What the hell? I had NO IDEA! You're too cute to be that mean."

weather girl,
i've known within a few sentences of a conversation whether or not a girl was submissive a number of times. I'm not sure if that is a result of a longterm desire to find it in EVERY girl, or if i'm more attuned because i enjoy the hunt so much.
I've had to let go my worries regarding my appearance as not doing much legwork for me with setting up my power indulgence, and instead enjoy the shock that comes with my "reveal".

little girl,
I've sort of approached it from a different direction, arriving at the same place. I once thought ALL girls were submissive, and treated them as such. From the tightly prim and tailored to the frayed and darkened, i assumed they would respond to my beguilement all the same. That there are perhaps fewer than i'd expected makes the game of finding them all the more interesting.

i happen to find parts of her role in Nell quite attractive. For one, she wouldn't be able to articulate a safe word.

i'm kidding.

Amber said...

I think a well-dressed, suit-clad dominant is hot - someone you can't tell is a pervert. Or take a very proper, wonderful high-school teacher whom kids look up to. Guys in leathers are not my thing.

But speaking of being identified as a pervert - I recently, for the first time in my life, showed not entirely face revealing picture of myself to another dominant friend, fully dressed and all and with a stroller, and he, a r/l pervert, said that I don't look the part of a sexually and emotionally submissive woman. Too domestic, pick-up driving farmer's wife. He had a hard time imagining me in a corset and in pain, I think.

I was surprised how much difference clothes made for him, because I am certainly an attractive, mischievous woman and I think I am equally graceful butchering chickens, pounding in fence-posts, jumping between russian, german, french, and english in one conversation, and waiting for punishment naked on a chain.