Saturday, August 28, 2010

In response to "Amanly"

This post continues to be something that i visit in my head as i try to contemplate what it means. Thus, when i tried to respond to the comments it got, i tended to ramble on and on, and apparently, Blogger thought i spoke too freely. The system refused to publish my response to all the great comments the post got.

So instead, i will publish my response in a post. I believe the discussion to be very, very fruitful.

What implications/outcomes do you believe stem out from a biological system where the male side of the species is constantly looking to spread its seed and the female side is constantly protecting its eggs? If indeed this is the system we operate under, there has to be some codified mechanisms that arise. I'd find a discussion that explores these mechanisms fascinating.

But, as a woman, do you feel these men constantly evaluating how much they'd like to use your body for their purposes? And if so, how does that feel? Or, do you tune it out?

Here's the thing that i'd love to hear your husband's take on it:

I don't think of having sex with other women - EVER

It's not that i don't allow myself to think of it out of ethical morals, it's that i do not desire sex with women. I desire to control and mold and shape them. So my interaction with strange women is instead of evaluating them on how fuckable they are, i tend to think of how much can i seduce/manipulate them to have them do what i want them to.

(There's a boatload of psychology raw material there, for sure)

For the record, i've spoken about this with other men, and the universal response to me telling them that i have no desire to have sex with random, beautiful women, is that i'm full of crap. That i'm merely holding a position that is different than others just to be contrarian. That isn't the case, unfortunately.

shape shifter,
I accept that the media holds a great deal of influence over the typical male's behavior (as it does the female's). But then, if that is the case, how did i escape that influence?

Well, i certainly don't exhibit high levels like i see in other men. Other men don't like to talk about problems they are having, emotions, etc. Whereas i can't STOP talking about those things - all of which is frequently categorized as a female/estrogen-laden activity.

Fair enough, social/group dynamics are at play, but why do those pressures not fall onto me?

Honestly, think about the number of movies that are out there of the young, coming-of-age boy who will toss everything away just to lose his virginity. He'll sleep with absolutely anyone who'll give it to him. I find - as much as we must allow the media influence us, we also must allow that the media are a reflection of us - that this attitude is quite prevalent amongst young men.

Here's the rub: I was in NO RUSH to lose my virginity. I turned down offers to give it away. They weren't right or desirable.

What's at play there?


Lo said...

What isn't at play?

You know your kink and know which women will respond to it as well as the smaller number of women that you will actually respond to in kind.

It's not really mind-boggling or even inconceivable.

Anonymous said...

You said - "I accept that the media holds a great deal of influence over the typical male's behavior (as it does the female's). But then, if that is the case, how did i escape that influence?"

Perhaps you did not escape it as such, but instead intelligently processed it as being (good scottish saying coming up!) foosty pish!

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

Sex is only for Heaven, dear, if you're not married; Upstairs, however, you can have me as your personal servant (and SEXtillions more of the young men you so desire for the length of eternity). I wanna give you everything and more in Heaven and, to do that, we must wait, Miss Gorgeous. God hears the longings of thy heart; God joyfully rewards those who're faithfull. PS The blog ‘closenmyeyes’ is how I wanna serve you in the Eternal Great Beyond. God bless you.

Deity said...


Thanks for your comment. I don't understand it, but it brought a smile to my face.