Thursday, December 25, 2008

BUT WHY DO YOU WANT TO WHIP ME?

Hello readers. I’m Vesta and I’m filling in for Deity while he is on holiday. Rest assured that he will be back with you very soon.

Whilst I truly do love all of Deity’s posts, one of my personal favourite topics is the Friday night disciplinary session with his girl. There is something so erotic about reading of somebody else’s punishment, don’t you think? I know that sounds a little mean, but let’s face it, it’s true.

Yet, it occurs to me that one’s reaction to these posts might depend on which end of the stick one is on. Let me give you an example. I like to write erotic stories and so does a cyberspace dominant friend of mine from England. I will send him a story, and he’ll come back with a comment like, “Yes, it’s good, but can you go into some more detail about what her bottom looked like with the marks?” After reading one of his stories I have been known to say something like, “Loved it! But, to be honest, I don’t really need to know that his balls are enlarging and so on.” This inclines me to think that men and women want different things out of erotic writing. We all want to know what happened and how the poor wretch was disciplined, but maybe women want to know a bit more about how she felt about it all, and why that nasty man who is thrashing her backside felt the need to do so.

Deity tends to relate what happened in vivid detail. That’s good. It certainly works for me. He tells us about how he positioned her, and tied her, and what implements he used. He tends to take us into his mind and detail the planning and the pleasure of the exercise, from his perspective, of course. It is better than cheesecake to read and I love every yummy detail, but almost every time, I find myself asking the same question. “But, what did she do wrong?”

Now, we all know that she didn’t necessarily do anything wrong. Quite possibly, Deity came home and advised that although she had been a perfect angel the entire week, the punishment session was going ahead because it would do her good, or he didn’t want to neglect her, or it would settle her for the weekend, or he’d been looking forward to it all week, or any such excuse as that.

But, on the other hand, it is also more than possible that his girl was indeed, quite naughty. So, what did she do? Precisely why is she about to be striped like a tiger for at least part of the coming weekend? I asked Deity this question once. He graciously informed me that she was, getting up later than she should in the mornings. Oh! I don’t know about you, but the setting of my alarm clock became a particularly poignant moment for me the evening I read that!

But, I don’t want to leave you with the impression that I don’t take the matter of ‘punishment’ seriously. In fact, I take it very seriously. I have a mentor. We have not met, and we live in different countries, but he and I correspond regularly, and he also emails my husband once a week with a ‘report’. Let’s call him Janus, since that is the God for Doorways and New Beginnings. I think he’ll approve of that. Janus believes very strongly in the teaching of ‘lessons’. Even thousands of miles away, he has a way of teaching a girl a lesson. He can rely on my husband to mete out any flagellation required, of course, but this is only one part of the punishment session. First, says Janus, the dominant talks to the sub about what she has done wrong. She needs to acknowledge all her transgressions (somehow any naughtiness of mine tends to have a good four subsets to it). She needs to apologize for her naughtiness and she needs to ask to be punished. By the time a girl gets through the speech, the acknowledgement, the apology and the request for punishment, a girl feels pretty naughty and in need of punishment, let me assure you. And, after the punishment, naturally, the girl thanks him for punishing her. Oh yes, indeed!

Not long ago, it was a very busy time for us both and Janus put a limit on the number of emails that I could write, as well as a word limit for each email. I didn’t consider this a problem until I hit a day when I found myself in a chatty mood and I blithered on, without a care in the world. Of course, Janus tends to have a tighter grip on the rules than me sometimes and it didn’t pass him by that this was a wordy email.

“I’m sorry, but this is too long. It's over the 1000 word limit by about 213 words. To make sure you're clear on this, you will need to write some lines for me. You will use your best penmanship and you will show the lines to Jove when you are finished. You will ask if he approves, and you will need to get his approval that you've done a good job or you'll need to do them again. For this, I want you to write me 213 times the line:

"I shall be concise in expressing my thoughts."

I'm sorry that you've taken on this new and boring writing assignment, but let's be very clear that the rules are not to be broken."

Damn! But, what could I say? It was my mistake. And, I had already learnt the lesson about arguing the point. I did the lines. The next day, I let Janus know that the lines had been written. He wrote back,

"I'm glad you did your lines. Hope it taught you a lesson."

There have been countless lessons. The first lesson is still the most memorable and in some ways the hardest: ‘The dom is always right.’ That took some learning, since I have spent quite a number of years considering that I am right about many, many things. You can imagine!

Another memorable lesson was, to submit. It sounds simple enough. However, what I needed to learn was that a girl should not do what she thinks will please her Dom. Rather, she should simply “obey”. Janus will say, “Vesta, just do as you are told!” It is infuriating, but arousing at the same time. Submissive readers know what I mean.

Now, isn’t it going to be interesting to see if Deity starts telling us why he does what he does on a Friday evening, and all the paraphernalia leading to the main event! I can just hear him now. “What was I thinking to give that Vesta a voice on my blog?!”

My best wishes to you for a very happy holiday season. May you find joy in the company of those you love.

5 comments:

doll said...

MMM,

lots of words in this!

To be honest I've never given any consideration to what Deity's girl has done wrong, it's my considered opinion that dominants just need to discipline come what may so no naughtiness is needed unless one wants to add a little spice and test them somewhat.

Very brave of you to fill Deity's shoes, i think you have done very well.

Vesta's Submission said...

Doll: I agree that the dominant should expect and ensure obedience and compliance.

But, it is the WHY that gives us a peep into the submissive's world. For example:

You had your 'Clintonesque' moment. Oatmeal Girl's dominant ensures high standards for her writing by sometimes reaching for an implement if he is not satisfied. I've recently been told that failing to express my needs (and even wants) - hinting - will earn me a whipping.

The WHY tells us something of where the submissive is in terms of the submission.

I think that the best dominants use their dominance to the benefit of the submissive - to make them and their lives better in any number of ways. Dominance should be, in my opinion, a form of love.

Thank you for your comment and your encouraging words.

oatmeal girl said...

Thank you so much for making me think about the reason for the punishment - which frankly has never crossed my mind either. The philosopher would always come up with some reason to punish me - but it was very clear when the scolding and spanking and belting and caning were for a truly serious infraction.

What always interests me is how the Dom feels when he is doing it. What does it do for him? What exactly does he feel as he raises the cane or his hand? As it makes impact? As he hears the moans or screams?

This fascinates me.

As for you... you are doing way too good a job as a substitute blogger. Very thought-provoking. Many thanks to you for writing and to Deity for giving you the opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Vesta,

It's nice to see your words finally "in print". It's no mystery why we want to whip you. You're good!


Oatmeal Girl,

I don't know about other doms, but for me, I'm probably feeling a lot of what the sub is feeling (minus the pain). In fact, that's partly the way I know what to do. I imagine what she's feeling and try to make it as intense and satisfying as I can.

There's also the very pleasant sensation of watching the sub squirming and working with her submission. I can almost see her thoughts as she tries to figure out what she can get away with, exploring different paths to get what she wants without getting her bottom warmed. The fact that it's hopeless creates a sense of poignancy. Watching her submit provokes a very deep sense of pleasure from getting my way with her. It's also reassuring because she is willing to accept me in that relationship.

And, her vulnerability and the visual appeal of her body are also very arousing. Especially the tiger stripes!

--Janus

Vesta's Submission said...

Oatmeal Girl: My sincere thanks for the compliment, and I will leave a comment on your blog, so you know I am there.

Janus: How lovely that all the readers here get to share a little of your wisdom and insight. My relationship with you brings me much joy - even when you are telling me off!