Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Slut vs. the Lady, revisited

It's summer here, and with the increased temperature so goes my increased irritation with the manner of dress some women choose to wear. Back in 2007, i wrote a post addressing this issue, and found myself returning to this idea very frequently these days. Here we are a full two years later, and i do not detect a massive retreat from the march of the sluttification of feminine beauty.

In my post i speak about what sort of clothing offends:
"There are days that i find myself walking behind some of the filthiest trash, causing my stomach to turn. It's worse in the hot, summer heat. Something in the swelter releases a chemical in the minds of a number of women, convincing them that they should dress as skimpily and vilely as possible. This chemical also seems to block their ability to recognize what is sensible. I see the most lurid of sights parading on the sidewalks:
-vicously tight jeans whose top line seems to recede more and more each passing year, and whose shape makes a trip to the ob-gyn more stream-lined
-visible panties (g-strings or thongs) as a result of the eroding coverage the above pants provide
-backless, belly-less, shoulder-less...really material-less tops that cling to the gal's torso like a frightened child to its mother
-multiple bra straps serving as evidence that the wearer in fact owns undergarments
-belly piercings
-fabrics of bold, tacky and loud colors"

These trends continue, unabated. The fashion designers are obviously responding to a demand by their clientele to look more and more like amateur streetwalkers. My protest is not one out of conservative values and archaic rules of propriety. My reasons are much more dire.

"The men i work with will oggle and drag their tongues along the dirty street whenever they see a female dressed like this. They'll elbow eachother, whistle, snicker, say something crude like "I'd do her," all of which are appropriate (and sought after?) reactions to this kind of dress. The female is dressing like a slut, and for some reason, this is being celebrated, even coveted within our appalling fixation on the lives of celebrities."

I worry about the violence this onslaught of slutty dress promotes. I'm not suggesting that women who dress this way will be raped as a result of their outfits. The violence i speak of is of a mental kind. My male colleagues, when they see a young woman traipsing by in skin-tight jeans whose ass cups and separates each buttock, they're first reaction is a guttoral, instinctual reaction to pounce on her. They do not wonder about her intelligence, or her value to this world. She has become to them what her costume dictates: a piece of meat

Contrast that with a woman who wears a handsome pencil skirt, a titillating but elegant blouse, and modest makeup and her audience has a completely different, more healthy reaction. They speak of and focus on her beauty. A trait, feminine beauty, that has been celebrated for centuries. Yes, i am proposing that a woman's physical appearance is in fact a major contribution to this civilization because seeing a beautiful woman presented in a dignified way reminds us for that brief moment of the divine. Just like when we view a stunning flower garden on a sunny Spring morning, we receive a moment of reprieve from the harshness and brutality of life.

Now, i'm not naive enough to believe that if you eradicated this slutty form of dress, violence against women would disappear. No, in fact, what i propose is to stem the rise of what has been a crime committed against women as long as they have been fetishized and enamored, while also contributing more beauty to the world.

11 comments:

milla said...

This is such a well articulated, intelligent post. Thank god there are still men like you who think this way.

It's a pure, honest relief to those of us who don't have the natural inclination to dress like a slut.

xx

milla

cutesypah said...

Deity,

I've read through this and your 2007 post, both very well-written. I, too, am a woman who loves to be recognized as a slut, but only by my Daddy/Owner. I am proud to be a slut, in private, as this side of me appears only for those worthy of it. With my professional life on display for so many in my small town, any display of sluttiness would completely destroy my reputation. But, it is so erotic, and such a huge turn-on for me knowing that Daddy's cutesypah slut is ever present beneath the suit, coiffed nair, polished shoes, and french manicure on the fingernails and toes. My 'nilla friends know I have a wild sexy side, but to what extent they have no clue. I prefer it that way.

Thank you for speaking out positively for presenting diplomacy, decency, and a bit of modesty while out in public. After all, good things do usually come in pretty packages.

But, behind close doors, I pray to be one well-used slut!!

Daddy's cutesypah

Trish said...

Nicely stated. Beyond the slut factor, I cannot for the life of me see how dressing like that can be comfortable. I don't find such 'clothing' and 'underwear' (if you can even call them that) pleasant to wear. I must also state that I find men whose pants reveal more than I want to know in the posterior is equally unappealing!

baby girl said...

excellent post! and i couldn't agree more.

one might think that frequent viewings of this type of attire would have me desensitized, but i continue to be taken aback whenever i see one of these scantily clad ladies.

i just don't get it. the skin tight jeans, the belly bearing shirts, etc. i think that for me, the biggest affront is not so much the skimpy clothing (although it is certainly a close second), but the lack of individuality and creativity.

it's like they're all in uniform. i don't know how anyone can tell one from the other.

i'm not saying that i walk around in turtle necks and ankle length skirts. like most girls, i want to feel appealing and attractive and even sensual, but there's nothing like a pretty sundress and the occasional open toed shoes to do the trick for me. ;-)

Possession said...

While I agree whole-heartedly with your assessment, I cant help but laugh at the irony of someone who enjoys what you and I both do in our private lives being the ones to complain about the savagery that the skimpy clothing elicits. It seems backwards and almost hypocritical, but it does reinforce an observation that I was making to my M this past week -- that it seems to be dominant men who are keeping chivalry alive, opening doors for their partners and treating them as women, despite the fact that the world views them as chauvinists.

Thank You for doing your part to keep chivalry alive. Those of us who prefer to dress as a lady appreciate it.

On a side note, I was so overjoyed to see you posting again! Perhaps I have lurked too long without commenting as often as I should to let you know just what your writing means to me. I shall have to rectify that...

~P

Destructicon said...

baby girl – [it's team slut vs. team skank, the sides are readily apparent to us men.]

The "RTF" style of dress ("ready to ...ck") has steadily maintained its pervasion into how good, well behaved young women dress - I think it's had an impact on the way they act and behave as well - a sort of self reinforcing stereotype?

What’s most disturbing to me is not that this style of dress exists (it is disturbing, don't get me wrong) but the early age at which young, pre- and pubescent girls are adopting it.

It causes my skin to itch from the inside when I see young GIRLS at the mall attracting the stares and ocular-gropes of men.

and it begs the question: where are the parents?

Vesta said...

I have been attracted to well-made and conservative pieces of clothing all my life: skirts below the knee, fine knitwear, pretty dresses. But, in my younger years I wore them without a complete sense of comfort in my sexuality. I'm sure they looked all right, but it was how I felt, sometimes. Now, I still wear conservative and well-made pieces of clothing but I do it with a sense of cheekiness, knowing that below that nicely tailored skirt and well cut shirt is a slut.

I completely concur with your sentiments. My own daughter is finally of an age to appreciate good clothing, worn well and since that sort of dress looks wonderful on her, I am delighted.

Deity said...

milla,
but why do others have the inclination? i truly don't understand it.

cutesypah,
modesty in all exploits is important. there's no reason to rub someone's face in your bounty. that can only lead to animosity.

Trish,
oh, i've heard that it's rather more comfortable than restrictive pencil skirts, and certainly less material in the hot summer. but still, that's no excuse for the defamation of beautiful femininity.

baby girl,
very interesting, and similar to a thought i've had. with the direction some of these dresses are going (less and less) where can they go? no clothes at all?

Possession,
Oh it's something that strikes me all of the time. But, the thing is, the "violence" i push onto my girl is completely consensual and desired.

And to be honest, a well-dressed woman elicits more of a deep, sensual response from me because i'm imagining she's not revealing her full hand - and that intrigue is sooooo much more attractive.

I appreciate your comment, and certainly would encourage you to make more.

Destructicon,
all anyone needs to do is look at the very popular Bratz dolls and ask yourself what real-life women look and dress that way. This on top of the fact that most music videos are shot by pornography directors because they both seek the same "shots" (no joke), and one can understand how our young girls are being turned into streetwalkers at a much too early age.

Vesta,
You've presented her with a dutiful role model, which mustn't be too tough to emulate.

goodgirl said...

Deity, Sir
I have read and re-read your entry only to reflect and step away from your words, taking time to absorb all you shared. After much time passed I returned only to read and re-read this post once again.

Your appreciation for the female form, for the beauty that can only be found within the woman is rare and unique to the person you are.

With that said though I feel conflict with your views. Although I feel that women do attain a level of femininity when showing less, I do not believe that those who choose to wear skimpy clothing should be classified as sluts.

And speaking of sluts, that word alone is highly offensive to me when used with such negativity. To pass judgment on a person solely on her attire seems barbaric and I can not help but wonder if such behaviours add to the violence in which you speak of.

Everything we wear creates attention in some form. If dressed lovely we receive civil compliments. If we dress against the norm such as a more goth look we often receive eyes rolling and possibly such comments as "those kids". If a female is dressed in short shorts and a tube top she might encounter gentleman as you describe, men who oogle, make lude comments such as "I'd do her" and or even try to touch. Yes, I have seen grown men reach out and touch strangers believing it is his right to do so because of what she is wearing.

I respect that certain attention is earned by what a person wears but that does not mean it is right. Perhaps instead of forcing the women to change their clothing, we should spend more time educating people and reducing the amount of violence that is expressed due to a persons individual style.

What I wear does not equate to promoting violence. Allowing violent behaviours, mentalities to continue is what promotes violence.

The television, magazines, porn, fetish sites - all of these express a desire for women to dress provocatively, scantily and suggestively or perhaps even naked. It is no surprise that many women dress in the manner they do. And if I may, I do not believe that the fashion icons create outfits because society demands them, on the contrary. I believe the clothing found in department stores, in boutiques dictate what people wear.

Deity, Sir your post brought forth much thought for me. I find it interesting that I am the girl who dresses conservatively, who chooses to cover up, to ensure the tops of her breasts are not visible, that her skirt is not barely covering her bottom and yet I still debate the rights for others to do so without harsh criticism. Perhaps even, it is because of such comments in your entry, where you describe those women who dress without much material that I have gone to such lengths to cover myself because I do not wish to be labeled a slut or be the target of crude comments.

For me I believe there is such a thing as time and place, but those are my rules and I do not believe I should impose such regulations to everyone else.

Live and let live. Allow beauty in all forms to be expressed.

~alexandria

Deity said...

alexandria,
thank you for your very poignant comment. i enjoy healthy debate around these pages.

you are incorrect in some of your stances. nowhere in any of my posts do i refer to women dressed in this way as sluts or think of them as sluts. in fact, i don't think of women as "sluts" as a general practice. therefore, i'm not passing judgment on them, and your assessment that i am is a little mis-aimed.

i am in fact taking to task the men who respond to this kind of dress. they are the ones who are contributing at least half of the problem. where you are additionally incorrect is that certain attention earned by one's dress isn't right. in fact, those women who dress in this manner know quite well they are to earn the attention of their fellow human, and thus dress in favor or in spite of that.

i am not one to believe that education alone will solve the problem of violence committed towards women. this is why we have laws that forbid such behavior, because education isn't enough.

i'm not interested in telling people how to dress. if they ask me, i'll gladly offer, but i do think with anything, restraint is important. the theses of my message is precisely what you strive for in allowing folks the right to dress however they choose: freedom of expression

i believe that people should have and deserve the right to express themselves freely, it wounds me however that they choose not to do so productively and, more importantly, beautifully. i'm offended by the choice to wear skimpy, trashy garments not just because i have a personal, favorable aesthetic, but because i believe this world is lacking beauty enough as it is. why take the opportunity to vandalize what is a naturally enriching canvass, when the world would be so much better served by aiming for more?

Anonymous said...

i have to agree with you on the ridiculously small amounts of clothing i've seen on other women. as well as the fact that it looks horrible. i work at a pizza place and last week a woman walked in wearing a trashy outfit. the neckline of her casual dress was so low-cut, that the straps of the dress were about half-way down her tits (displaying her horrible breast implants). its length just about covered her bottom and she was wearing those ugly furry boots *shudder* not to mention her unsightly sun-baked skin (hello? sunscreen!). i couldn't even look at her, as her outfit was so unflattering. the only good thing was that the guys i work with (and i'm the only female working there) were not impressed at all. im so proud of them lol.

the way teenagers dress is appalling as well. when i was a teen (i'm 21 now), i never dressed that way and won't even consider it now either.

one just has to look at media and our surroundings (aka Bratz dolls etc.) to understand the general lack of clothing women wear

H.