This post has been harder than i expected it to be.
I've been away for the past few weeks, relaxing in the oh-so-easy environs of Mother Europe, having returned just a couple days ago. In the time since i returned, i've logged into this here web portal many times and primarily gawked at it and the activity that has blossomed in my absence.
I just haven't been able to muster the proper meter and timbre that befits a TransformHer post, falling short of my own admittedly lofty standards. There are many reasons for this. When you leave for such a long time, it's difficult to fit yourself back into your regimented routine. I'm finding it hard to settle into any regulated aspect of the life i led before i left on vacation, let alone manning this outlet. Some responsibility for this falls on the incredibly relaxed lifestyle i grew accustomed to across the Atlantic. Right now, the pace i customarily sustained in the big metropolis feels alien, and that makes nearly everything associated with the lifestyle i carved out of the local grindstone harder to relate to.
I've no doubt that the passage of time will gracefully escort me back to the seat i occupied before i took my leave of absence, which leads me to not suffer from any panic at my current disembodiment. In fact, it offers me a kind of liberty. I'm able to look at the world that i had grown so accustomed to viewing as the default with a freedom of perhaps learning something new about the old.
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I'd like to thank Stormy for her caretaking during my vacancy. Reading her posts upon my return had me honestly wondering if i should remain or if perhaps i should check to see if there were any, as yet, unfilled rooms at the Venetian villa i spent the past few weeks reclining. Alas, i shall stick around these parts while offering my eternal gratitude for her stewardship.
8 comments:
There is very definitely value in viewing ones normal habitat with fresh (or jetlagged and jaded) eyes. For a short time there is the ability to see clearly and with definition that which is normally obfuscated by familiarity.
And scents, no doubt the scents of Italy held you enthralled and now you return and become aware once more of the scents of your hometown. For better or for worse!
Welcome back. I know exactly how you feel. It is very difficult to get back into the swing of things once you have left them. But you are correct, time will pull you back in.
doll,
i'm slowly coming around, but for awhile, i really did look at this site with some decent disconnection. i think it's starting to feel like a part of me.
and yes, the senses are one quick conduit to guide my spectre back to its usual haunt.
mina,
thank you for the kind welcome. (i was half expecting a banner laid out for me, singing praise at my return *wink*).
sorry to be late with the banner and the band. most of the members have been tied up. except for the percussionists, of course, who, under the circumstances were enthusiastically taking advantage of the other musicians. a lot of busy drumsticks...
I held a mental ticker tape parade for you. Actually, I was trying to think of something nice to say about your vacation--basically, what doll said--but all I could think to say was welcome the hell back.
i recently had a very similar reentry crisis, and a wise friend said what i'm about to offer to you:
you went on vacation, and pushed all of "this" out of your life. now you're back, and wondering why it all just isn't rushing back to you.
it's really simple: thoughts become things, and what you give your energy to becomes your reality...just as what you push away becomes your fiction.
in truth, you probably still very much want to be in italy. odd how the rest of your life knows that, huh? :)
welcome back (even just to the part of you that actually *is* back).
--haven
o.g.,
who did the rigging of the banner?
sera,
mental ticker tape parade. i like the sound of that. it would take years to get all of that confetti out of the wrinkle of one's brain.
haven,
thank you for your sage words. there was certainly some aspect of kink in my vacation, but i think the "this" i pushed out was the day-to-day grind. they just live differently over in europe.
i'm slowly returning, however. peace by peace.
oh, i rigged it up myself. i'm afraid of heights. but the philosopher knows how much you have influenced the stretching of my limits, and ordered me to properly celebrate your return.
and i never disobey the philosopher. especially when he scares me...
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