Thursday, April 24, 2008

Find the clouds

I breathe.

In great glorious lungfuls, i drink in the air as if it were water, and i had a thirst deep in my chest.

Each breath draws from me a peaceful sigh, a connection to the portion of my mind too often misplaced throughout the regular activity of a day. One breath brings me back there. Another one, and i am centered. Once i am calm, it seems i cannot inhale enough, i am feeding oxygen to muscles and cells that are neglected by my regimental respiration. These parts of me come alive, they ask for more, they make the colors around me stand out, more brilliant. They imbibe the sounds that circle me with a three-part harmony. They lift the corners of my mouth ever so slightly into a smile. They make the blue in my eyes sparkle.

Just by breathing. This air i engulf helps me find my oneness with everything around me. It removes any notion of individuality that i may have allowed myself to falsely accept. It reminds me that i am not just breathing air. I am also breathing the sunshine that creates differing pressures that move the air. I am breathing the clouds that float on the air, and carry moisture from one land to the next.

When i breathe, i remind myself i must find the clouds. When i do, i feel calmness.

Every time she is bent over, naked, grasping the edge of the bed as told, i must remind her to breathe. I am breathing for her. I am breathing with her.


Anonymous said...

You remind me of a time in my life when I would look up to the clouds. It was the only connection that I had to someone so very far away. I would think that we were both living under one big cloud. This post is an exquisite piece of writing. You inspire me to do better.


oatmeal girl said...

"i am also breathing the sunshine..."

yes. i am breathing in this thought and drawing it through me like oxygen and light.

thank you.

Deity said...

I remember when i spent a considerable time abroad, and the one way i could connect with a loved one was to look up at the same celestial spectacle. That shared experience was very moving.

Thank you for your kind comment.

You can't know how much it means to me that my little literary pitter patter causes such effluvium in someone else's life.