Monday, April 30, 2007

The Gain, pt. 1

Despite what many men, either online or at clubs, would have you believe, you do not secure a female's submission simply by demanding it (the oft heard slogan of "Kneel, bitch/slave/slut."). And despite my early blind insistence to the contrary, not all females are submissive. Those girls that are submissive require a patient and concerted process that demonstrates to them that the top is worthy of their gift. To me and my small circle of dominant friends, we refer to this moment of reception as "The Gain".

I've been blessed to receive this gift from 6 incredible girls, of course i went about "The Gain" the only way i knew how, and that was to transform them on some level. When i met each of them, i was at a more advanced level in sexual deviance than they were, which was an incredibly enticing prospect all its own. I relished the role of debaucherer, introducing them to scenarios via stories, photos or videos, greeting their vehemenent protests at such filth with immense sadistic delight. Each of them responded differently to my tactics, and each required a specific, custom-made approach to drawing them to a place where the mere sound of my voice or look in my eyes brought them to a deep, safe, and indisputable submission. Something about interacting with these girls, all of whom were/are strong spirits and otherwise vivacious personalities in the outside world, felt incredibly natural and right. I acted precisely as i knew i had to and wanted to, which to an outside observer (and in the initial stages with most of these girls) would appear stubbornly arrogant. I made assertions and demands that they were not accustomed to that insulted their liberated sentiments. In fact, this issue contributed to the biggest challenge i faced. I learned an incredible amount about myself as i made mistakes and miscues. However, the most important thing i learned was simply because i desired to dominate females did not necessarily mean i was fully aware of the responsibility i'd be dealt once i gained an intensely strong and assertive creature's submission.

As i said, each one of these girls gave me their submission in different ways, but there was one thing that united all of them, which told me the exact moment i had it. We simultaneously experienced the same physical sensation of an intense field of energy throbbing in our chests that can only be described as a current running between our two bodies. It expanded out into our arms and hands, up our necks, and the more we breathed within the same space, it flooded over us. We became intertwined. The first time i felt this, i was hooked. It was the greatest high i'd ever experienced, and i would do what i could over the years to get back to the moment. That it came as a result of intense degradation and objectification of the girl struck me both as cruel and beautiful.

Incidentally, in my journey to continually re-experience this sensation, i found, as a result of my greed, a very appealing and efficient method that delivered "The Gain" more succinctly than anything else in my bag of tricks. I'll consider sharing it later.

*this continues on here

10 comments:

littlegirl said...

i'm intrigued. . .

i want to know so much more about you.

write more!

(please?)

*lg

persephone said...

i love the balance you create between such respect for the submissive woman and such a strong desire to bring her to her knees.

Deity said...

little girl,
i'm new to the web publishing. Most of my writing is captured in reams of notebooks. I'm slowly transferring things over. Hearing that you are intrigued certainly motivates me to speed that transfer. Thank you for your comments.

persephone,
i've fought a long battle to overcome any guilt or stigma i've felt for needing to do the things that i do. The balance keeps me sane, but i sometimes do see how thin the ledge is that i'm balancing on.

Kes said...

Yes! The energy connection is what takes the merely erotic into the realm of the spiritual. It is a transformation, a becoming... The alchemist and what becomes his golden girl. Thank you for sharing your words, your vision.

DL's toy said...

What a fantastically respectful piece about something that cannot be overlooked: the connection that transpires through the D/s transaction:

We simultaneously experienced the same physical sensation of an intense field of energy throbbing in our chests that can only be described as a current running between our two bodies...

This is cerebral fuel for me to have read. Your writing is a unique point of view that is strong and refreshing, and very controlled. I admire these pieces, and what you're opting to transfer over from journaling.

I admire the respect of which you write and display each of the submissives that have willingly and wantonly laid down their rights and pleasure in honor of serving you and pleasing you. Refreshing words.

Deity said...

kes,
You've nailed it. I've seen my connection with the girls i've been with as exactly that - spiritual (hence the name "Deity"). Thank you for your kind words and your visit.

toy,
Your praise enlivens me. As i've said over on your weblog, i'm in awe of someone so fiercely intent on exploring her inner crux. I take it you've experienced this current? It is an incredible sensation. It's what convinces me that what i do is not just right but essential.

Amber said...

(See I try to read every single one of your posts). I have to confess that my entire journey as a deviant is exactly like yours - not like the experience of some of the other subs I met online. I have the desire to submit and a man which fits my specifications. However, rather than going out online to look for a suitable pervert, I used to plant a seed of sadism in my boyfriend. There were two that were trained in the capacity - and it's a true pleasure to watch a mean begin enjoying the use and the infliction of pain on a beautiful woman. My husband, I told him on my third or so date - "You know, there's something I need to tell you... I like to be tied up... Would you consider tying me up sometimes?" Sure, he said. It's an elaborate process - how do you teach someone inflict pain? The first time he belted me to bruises I thought it was the best time we had sex ever, but he was so upset. Now he admires them. And you should have seen him last night - he was taking me in my newly favorite way (I'll let you guess which way it was) as he bent me over the dresser, all nude and only with the long dark locks all the way down, and the dresser, of course, came with a big mirror. I could see his reflexion and he could see mine as it happened - I know I had a pained expression on my face (I mean, come on, it's not peaches and cream), and he had this naughty mischievous merry horny look on him, indicating without fail that he loved taking control over me like that. After all, it's been his taboo desire for some time. I later asked him - so how do you react to the look of pain on me, and he said - "Look of pain is very akin to the look of orgasm." So, that's how you corrupt a good Midwestern farmboy who's the nicest guy you'll ever meet otherwise.

Amber said...

Actually, if that's not annoying yet, I'd like to steer you towards a post that covers my Pygmalionesque efforts here: http://kinkyfarmwife.blogspot.com/2007/05/what-vanilla-guys-can-do-when-they-try.html

Deity said...

amber,
i thank you for diligently plodding through my journal. I will try to return the favor, but i fear i am a slight disadvantage due to the breadth and lifeline of your site.

I REALLY like how you describe your corruption of your husband. It tinkles the transformation keys in my head.

Thank you for letting me guess the position. I will let my mind warp that image for awhile.

Amber said...

Thanks, Deity,

Please don't feel obliged to plow through the months and months of banter, by no means :). I might not even be the same person anymore, for that matter, that I was 6 months ago. My blog has transformed me, actually. Anyhow, when I discover a new blog, despite my best intentions, I just begin to follow it from the point I discovered it without going too deep into the archives. Yours is the very first exception, actually, due to its manageable size.